Sit 'N' Squeeze

To the list of eighteen things that L. Williams and I are already planning to patent (some of which I would share, but y'all might be the thieving sort), I'm going to add the "Sit 'N' Squeeze".

No, this is brilliant, just wait.

It's going to be like riding the bull at the country bar.  Except, not.  In lieu of a nice, normal animal-shaped torso, it's going to be a bosu ball.  And you will straddle this bosu ball, immediately engaging your core.  I might give you stirrups.  I haven't decided yet.  But once you master posting, you'll have to post and squeeze (sensors for this!).  And once you master posting and squeezing, we're gonna make that damn ball move.

Okay, it would probably never appeal to the equestrian crowd.  But those weird gym people who like doing random fads?  Oh, yeah.

I bring this up to talk about my Monday ride.  (You go.. Monday?  I reply that I'll get to yesterday in a minute.)  When I got to the barn, the fellows were working on the water pump.  With machines and stuff.  And it only took me a moment, but I quickly realized that the drilling stuff didn't sway BO from riding, so Archie was running around and screaming his head off.

When I finally caught him, we spent a few minutes lunging on the lead rope, trying to get him to focus on me and my verbal cues.  It wasn't amazing.  He's gotten pretty nasty about kicking out lately, so we've got to spend a day and just work on that.  I wish I had a round pen.  Anyways, I had started grooming him by the time that BO returned from her ride and Archie visibly relaxed upon seeing Skinny Guy.  We had a little discussion that he needs to start preparing himself for separation, because, unfortunately, Skinny Guy won't live forever.. Or I might move the Arch.

I considered him "warmed up" when I mounted, given that he'd been galloping circles around me, so I just walked him a lap before I asked him to start trotting.  And then we spent time doing figure-eights before we ended on jumping the cross rail a few times.  We had to have one discussion when he spooked at a bird and another when he landed from the cross rail cantering and immediately started bucking/crow hopping.  I hate that crap.

But the emphasis of the entire ride, every single stride, was forward.  Sit, squeeze.  Sit, squeeze.  Go, go, go.  Answer is always go.  When you act like a shit, you still have to go.  It was a hard work out and my right hip joint was still unhappy from all the squeezing the day prior.  But, honestly?  One of the best rides we've had and I really felt like I had my "true" Archie beneath me.  He was engaged, he was forward, he was fucking beautiful.

I did good, Mom?  I did good?
And yesterday?  I went to Charleston on business.  I was a grown up.  I sat at my conference.  I ate at a strange restaurant that I found on Yelp.  I chatted with the bartender.  I talked to other strangers.  I discussed lacto-ovo vegetarianism with the new veggie wearing leather kicks (who was also leading the course.. er).  And at the end of the day, I found a place to go to (that no one told me about, but the bartender confirmed) where I could take photos and walk around before I got back in my company-provided vehicle and drove the speed limit the entire way home.  I'll share some of those photos later, but I suck at landscape.  No feel for it.

Pitch black and raining.  Awesome way to start.


I went to a BBQ because they generally have great salads and sides.  Think about it.

They have carriage horses, too.

Almost home.

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  1. Replies
    1. I vote we buy some of these and convert them:

  2. Love Charleston! Glad you had a good ride, the forward forward forward is a mantra of mine too.

    1. Charleston was great. I wish I'd known that you'd been there so I could have questioned you about places to photograph!

      I remember my trainers always trying to reinforce the concept of going forward, but I always felt more comfortable going the speed of a dead snail.

  3. Forward can get you out of sticky situations! Love the invention... I will be interested to see the promo material for this gem ;)

    1. LOL. We'll get you to be our first tester. :)