A Christmas Novel.

Without a plot or character development or a point, really.  tl;dr?  We went everywhere and saw everyone.

Christmas was a blur.  I worked a half day on Xmas Eve and then we loaded up my car and started the trek back to Augusta.  The first thing we did upon arriving in the city was to eat at one of our old favorite pizza places.  I actually served there for about nine months at the end of my college career.  If my personality is any indication, I was a fucking sorry server because I tended to not give a shit.  Anyways, the pizza was really good.

He's so freaking hot.
That giant Budweiser sign is covering a fish tank.  Rumor has it that all the fish died or it cracked or something.
We headed over to Stop #1: the In-Laws.  A few months ago, I told them about a working-bred GSD for adoption at the Humane Society.  They adopted her and this was the first time I'd seen her since.  They said that she was superb when meeting people outside of their home, but inside, she was skittish.  After about an hour or so, she would walk up and sniff my feet if I stayed completely still.  We ended the visit with her sitting on my command and taking dog biscuits from my hand.  (Oh, you wanted to know about the actual Xmas?)
This girl!

My dad offered us a room for the night, but was unknowingly out with friends until about 9:30.  D and I wandered Target and got ice cream before heading over to Stop #2: Dad's.  Though, it isn't really his.  He lives with his long-time girlfriend in a nice, old subdivision.  D and I spent half the time there pointing out architectural details to each other.  Dad made us pancakes in the morning, which I'm not quite sure has ever happened before.  Honestly, I think it's been over a decade since my dad cooked for me.  The feels.  We all exchanged gifts and loaded up my car.

Stop #3: the Grand-in-Laws was.  It just was.  D shushed me because his G-ma was talking about how they wanted to help with some bullshit at "D's house" and I wanted, so desperately, to sprout off that it isn't his fucking house and maybe I don't want their goddamn help for our home.  Roar.  I was in a piss-poor mood after that.  And they didn't give me my normal moonshine.  /bitter

I did get this pillow, though.  Jealous?
We then took the almost-over-burdened Fiesta to Stop #4: D's Aunt's.  This was super interesting.  D's aunt got secret-married a few weeks ago and we hadn't seen her in two years.  We also had never met the dude.  In addition to that, we also saw his cousin who is, unfortunately, living through one of those Lifetime dramas:  live-in-fiancé cheats on her with younger, chubbier married momma who he then moves into the house that he bought with D's cousin.  All the stories that I've heard about the situation make his cousin sound horribly passive, so I was glad to hear that she stood up for herself.  She drove by the house, got black-out angry, and only came to when punching the ex-fiancé in the face for pulling her off of the other woman.  I mean, not ideal by any means, but it's something.

We left his aunt's and headed over to Stop #5: My Mom's.  Freaking melee.  Two brothers, one sister-in-law, three nephews and one niece, two aunts and uncles, two cousins and their respective kids and one significant other, my mom and her husband.  And later, another "aunt" and "cousin" and his SO, and another brother and his SO.  Food was good, companionship was good.  Less awkwardness than normal.  Towards the end of the night, when most everyone had left, the "cousin" and one of my brothers and his wife got into a conversation about old family history involving illegitimate children and friendships in the 1940s.  For whatever reason, I had the most information.  We spent the night there.
Mom loves Xmas.
Day after Christmas, I called the boarder to see what time they closed.  Our normal kennel wasn't available, so we were boarding the dogs at their affiliate vet office instead.  The chick told me one.  It's a two-plus hour drive to Savannah from Augusta and then additional time to the small town in which the vet is located.  D and I started scrambling to get all our crap together when I had the brilliant idea that I wanted the girls to get a bath before we got them.  I called the vet back and started the conversation with, "Y'all close at 1 today, right?"  At which point I learned that they actually closed at 7 pm.  The receptionist had my information, so I figured that they would call me back if the second person was wrong in stead of the first.

Given the sudden extra amount of time, D and I headed to downtown Augusta to eat at one of our fave restaurants, a 67-year-old, family-owned Jewish bakery.  It's super old and poorly updated and incredibly quaint.  The soup is amazing and given out with every sandwich.  We ordered the same stuff that we ordered three years ago and cried a little inside.  And got baked goods to go.  After that little brunch, we drove out in the opposite direction to a small town on the outskirts.  This town has two tack stores within spitting distance of each other.  We only went to the larger of the two and it was not as good as I remembered.  I remember a shit ton of stuff and overflowing aisles.  This time, they had almost nothing.  I still managed to buy horse treats and a new saddle pad.
Looks questionable, tastes amazing:  potato soup, egg salad sandwich and "sunshine" tea (Arnold Palmer).
It looks like this:  a weirder grey/green in person with teal accents and the embroidered diamonds.
We left the tack store and went to a Hobby Lobby, which Savannah does not have.  I love Hobby Lobby.  We got more hand-stamp stuff and a large, ornate frame for Archie's racing photo.  Then we headed to another favorite restaurants, this time Mexican (surprise!).  It wasn't as good as we remembered, which I think is the theme:  we're adjusted to the new stuff but still manage to idolize the old.  After lunch, we said good-bye to Augusta and headed back to Savannah.  It was a quick switch of cars and off to get the girls.
Little shit on his new cat thing.

Savannah protecting her new skunk.

Scarlette showing off her new fox.

You Might Also Like


  1. Phew, sounds like a busy holiday!

  2. Merry Christmas! You should have received a package from me right before Xmas. Let me know if you haven't gotten it and I'll try to find the tracking info. :)

  3. Sounds like a whorl wind holiday!

  4. Wait, doesn't Hobby Lobby tell their employees they can't have birth control! Facists.

  5. Even though Hobby Lobby is scary Christian, I too love it.