DIY: Saddle Rack

Dover.
So, we've all seen these, right?  Dover sells them for $12.99 a pop.  I didn't want to drop $25+ to get my two rarely-used saddles off the ground in my garage.  Have drill, will screw.

Supplies:

Not including my drill, total cost was $11.08.



Made huge mostly because I wanted you to see the manager's name.

I could have saved $0.40 if I had bought both my rope hooks at Wally's.
Not pictured:  the 32" piece of poplar that I got for $2.

Steps:

1.  Mark the half-way point of the wood.  Start hacking with the tiny saw.


2.  When the blade of the saw starts sliding out of the back of the handle, contemplate suicide tape that bitch.  When it starts sliding out of the front, derpedly tighten the screw holding the blade with all the strength born by the frustration that this little project has already caused.

Ghetto fabulous.
3.  When you've successfully hacked as many of the corners as you can and you don't seem to be progressing towards two separate pieces of wood, contemplate suicide utilize (gratuitous) body weight and a sharp corner, like the edge of the driveway, to crack it.


4.  Insert eye screw into wall.  Deets on this later.

Eye screw.  Wall.
5.  Figure out the point at which the rope hook has to be in order to be flush with the wall and stay upright.  I used tape.

Voila.
6.  When that position is figured out, screw in the rope hook.  I pre-drilled holes to make this easier.

Wobbly.
7.  Assemble and slap saddle up there.


8.  (Not pictured) Have saddle and rack fall to the ground as the eye screw is ripped out of the dry wall.  Idiot.  Contemplate suicide.

9.  Try again with the eye screw securely in the strip of wood that the previous owners attached to studs.  Mentally thank them for all their ghetto-fabulous hard work.  Use a screw driver for leverage because wood is hard.  (Har.)  Move the rope hook to account for the new one-inch gap between the wood and the wall.  Wait, that sounds too easy:  remove screws from the rope hook, turn wood to get a fresh area to drill, mark holes for the new screw spots, pre-drill holes, and drill screws back in.

Acknowledge that you wear bracelets like a teenage girl.  Lament the fact that you are, indeed, in your thirties.
10.  Have saddle fall again because you tried to hide the fugly end of the wood and subsequently, it doesn't sit flush with the wall.  Contemplate suicide Start process over of measuring where the rope hook should go (again), thankfully no longer in the end that resembles swiss cheese from previous fuck ups.


11.  Use all this information to do the second rack in about 3 seconds.  Idiot savant.

Fuck straight.
12.  Take a photo as proof before shit starts falling again.  Contemplate suicide Start googling for a new girth-hanging option that isn't supremely tacky when all the girths promptly fall as soon as the saddles are "securely" hung.

Absently wonder why you have two open bottles of ACV and so much random shit.
*Suicide not really contemplated.

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12 comments

  1. Viola saddle racks! (PS I am horrible at DIY projects) you have my respect

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  2. I'm just really glad you lived to tell us how to make these :)

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  3. This sounds like a project I would try to tackle myself for .04 seconds before getting so pissed I started throwing power tools and delegated it to Hubby. And definitely contemplated suicide.

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  4. Love it, in no time you will have a whole tack corner!

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  5. Love these racks and love them even more if you can make them yourself!

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  6. I think I would just spend the money and have the barn guy hang it. Oh, yeah, that's exactly what I did. :)

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  7. Lol...love it. I would have gotten annoyed in like a minute and made my hubby do it ;)

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  8. I almost peed my pants laughing at this, that is exactly how things seem to go at my house too. Thank you :)

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  9. Brilliant DIY job, sorry it was such a pain to do, but agree with MostlyHarmless - hilarious post!
    Any news on equikozy socks delivering stateside?

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  10. LOLing so hard. Great DIY though!

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