Here Comes the Boom.

After the show on Saturday, I sponged Archie off in a cool mint brace, offered him beet pulp which he ignored, and I turned him out with the other boys in his pasture.  He immediately trotted off to the dirtiest area and rolled.  I take rolling after exercise as a good sign.  I watched him for a few minutes and then vacated the premise, smelling to high heaven and surprisingly tired.

I opted to ride on Sunday, though part of me wanted to give him the day off.  A reward for good behavior or ensuring that those old man muscles got stretched out?  I don't think he did anything incredibly taxing when walking over crossrails or trotting circles, but in the years I've owned him, he's never spent that much time in one day on a trailer.

Anyways, when I got to the barn, another lady was riding in the grass area in front of the ring.  She was just pacing in circles at the walk and I realized that the gun show going on in the neighbor's back yard had set her on edge.

Have I mentioned this?  The neighbors have a fucking gun range next to the fenceline bordering the two properties.

I didn't think too much of it because Archie's been hearing those damn guns for like six months now.  He's adjusted.  We did a few circles, lightly asking for bend, and popped over a few crossrails.  I mean, I knew our bending wasn't awesome, but I didn't think it, of all things, was what we sucked the most at.  I feel like I've spent years riding this horse in circles.

I'm just walking Archie at the point that the neighbors have started shooting automatic weapons.  I don't think you hunt with automatics, do you?  So what's the target practice for?  Do people really kill deer with AK-47s?

When the gunfire stopped, there was a brief period of silence before they shot off the cannon.

I've since been informed that it was combustible powder, but forever in my mind it will be a cannon.

Archie stood stalk still and I jerked on top of him.  Everyone converged in the ring to make sure I was okay, since I was the only one riding.  I was fine, Archie was fine, the two horses nearest the boom were fine, the kid feeding them was fine.  But I was murderously angry.

And so I called the cops.

Best part?  BM's kid, who never says anything, ever, comes out with this quip:

Well, now you can say that he's bomb proof.


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  1. Replies
    1. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, welcome to Georgia! And WV, evidently.

  2. Replies
    1. But I didn't need to whoa him. He stood perfectly still!

  3. "Bomb proof" for the win!! That's nuts. It would only be better if the pink lady was the one setting it off ;)

  4. People are stupid. My parents old house was in city limits. Where we live it's illegal to shoot guns in city limits. My first accident with Houston was because that genius started shooting like a maniac right when I was trying to get on. That's how you get a trampled Hillary. I'm glad arch was not phased.

    1. I think that's what the other rider was concerned about when I got there - that her mare would freak. Some of the geldings were running around, but I'm not sure if that was solely the gunfire.

      Has Houston been around it since? Has he reacted?

  5. Love it - literally bomb proof. What a good boy! :D

    Val spent his first year off track living next to an Air Force base, so theoretically he's conditioned to extremely loud noise and "bombs" going off nearby.

    Sadly, there is a combo shooting range / paintball war games situation right next door to our arena. While it doesn't seem bother him too much when the shenanigans suddenly begin, it freaks me out, which then passes the freakiness down the chain.

    I would love to make it stop - alas the awesomeness of living out in the middle of nowhere.

    1. Yeah, I freaked out more than Archie did, definitely. Sore neck the next day!

      The BO has vowed to do whatever he can to get the guy to at least stop blowing stuff up. He said, "If you wanted to shoot guns, you should have bought more land."

  6. Replies
    1. Hey, you're in Georgia! You should be used to this sort of crazy! :)

  7. That be crazy!
    Glad to hear that Archie is truly BOMBPROOF & that you are both alright!

    1. Bestest pony EVER. I want to clone him. Soooooo badly.

  8. It is insane that the neighbors have a gun range next to the barn! That is crazy! Good boy Archie! Indeed: you can definitely say now that he is bombproof.

    So wait: you called the cops and then what happened? Did they show up? Did they make the neighbors stop the booming?

    1. Muuuhahahah.

      Yeah, I wish I had more to tell you. I'm waiting on a call back from the responding officer.

  9. Cannon to right of them,
    Cannon to left of them,
    Cannon in front of them
    Volley'd and thunder'd;
    Storm'd at with shot and shell,
    Boldly they rode and well,
    Into the jaws of Death,
    Into the mouth of Hell
    Rode the six hundred

    1. LOVE THIS! Actually, anything that has horses, riding and boldness.

      There's a ballad with his name, but I don't love it too, too much:

      Bold Archer

      It was all in the month of June
      Just as the flowers were in full bloom,
      A castle was built upon Kensal Green
      All for to put bold Archer in.

      O, now our brother in prison do lay
      Condemned to die is he
      If I had eleven such brothers as he
      It's soon the poor prisoner I'd set free.

      Eleven, says Richard, is little enough
      Full forty there must be;
      The chain and the bars will have to be broke
      Before Bold Archer you can set free.

      Now ten for to stand by our horses' reins
      And ten for to guard us round about,
      And ten for to stand by the castle door
      And ten for to bring bold Archer out.

      Now Dickie broke locks and Dickie broke bars
      Dickie broke everything he could see
      He took bold Archer under his arm
      And carried him off most manfully.

      They mounted their horses, away they did ride
      Archie, he mounted his horse likewise.
      They rode till they came to their family
      And there they dismounted bold and free.

      And there they ordered the music to play
      It played so sweet and joyfully
      And the very first dancer among them all
      Was bold Archer, whom they set free.

  10. OMFG I would have lost it. Totally not cool. At all!!

    1. At least the horses that actually bolted didn't hit the kid feeding.

  11. giggleSNORT. This sounds just like West Virginia. Archie is also WV-proof now.

    1. We can do a desensitization program! And also call it a cultural diversity program for the riders!

  12. I love that you called the cops. Hilarious! (And that you guys were ok, but that was implied)